![]() When CoDA Doesn't Work, in my reply to the OP on this thread.Īfter getting grounded in their then-new "big blue book" in 1995, the meetings did seem to improve in most places, IMO. (As well as two downright sick ones, one before and one well into the "big blue book" era.) I've seen "good" ones and "not so good" ones, for sure. Good luck to you!Īs you wrote, "Codependent gonna be codependent."Ģ8 years since I went to my first CoDA meeting. Thank you for listening, and affirming my experience. I'm going to have compassion for myself and take the next few weeks to work outside of CoDA. He should be more aware of his behaviour! I'm going to give up on this incrimination. I noticed that I felt a touch of indignation for his behaviour- he shouldn't be doing this. I've got a lot of compassion for anyone making the effort. I recognise that we're all doing this work on our interior selves. It's a small task, and there's a lot of small tasks to do to run any kind of organisation. This was right after I was thanking him for all that he does to keep the group running- he'd printed off a few more booklets. The guy said something about his personality being abrasive, and that a lot of people don't like that. I think I'll leave things be for the meanwhile, and possibly attend a different group further away from me. Yeah, I'm not a longstanding member or related to the group in anyway. This makes me forget/take for granted the "good" relationships in my life, as I'm not worried about reducing stress and anxiety with people that treat me well. And I really should.ĭamn, I realised that another codependent habit I have is that I chase after "bad" relationships because I'm orientated around placating people. I've got a great therapist that I can call on. I've been working this week on cultivating a sense of "worthiness" It's the mental stumbling block that I never knew I had, and it's why I don't trust myself to do the work on my own. I got a lot out of engaging with the CoDA codependency frame work, and making that commitment to work on it at least weekly. I learned a lot of core ideas.Īvoidance is a bad habit of mine. I felt I was pretty lucky so far- the group was generally respectful during sharing, and didn't do any cross talking. They are all genuine concerns that I also have about going to a support group. I am hoping to reach out to a bigger CoDA group in search of a sponsor that I can continue to work with to do the Steps.Įdit: a word edit 2: clarified the key situation. Though I have a lot of respect for every member, and the processes that they are going through, I do not think it is the place for me. I feel pressured to contribute, without regards to my own decision making. I also left before the meeting started, saying that I felt dizzy. ![]() I told the group leader that I was not able to attend next week. At the most recent meeting, I was again automatically "volunteered" to do external duties prior to the commencement of meeting. I have flagged that this boundary breaking. The group leader has previously "volunteered" me for "group conscious duties" and well as other duties. ![]() I agreed to exchange phone numbers with him. I arrive to find that she had also told the group leader was there and said that he was told to get the key. One of them reached out to me and handed over her responsibility of unlocking the meeting room to me at the last minute, claiming that she had to work and could not get there early enough to open up. When they came back, the core members that I had gotten to know stopped attending regularly. The person whom normally runs the group I go to was away for personal reasons for a few weeks. I have started to attend a local CoDA meeting. Hi there, I'm Fomalhaut, and I'm a recovering codependent, and grateful member of this group.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |